Today’s Blogtember topic: An anonymous letter to your Facebook friends. Be as snarky as you’d like. (but don’t include people’s real names.)

Hold on to your seats, because I am going on a little rampage.

Selfie Queen

I don’t have a problem with guys, but a lot of the girls on my friends list seem to think that the world will implode if they don’t share at least five selfies every day. Yes, I get that you are “bored”, but bro, the same angle and the same face is boring. I said it. You are boring. Your selfies are not interesting. You are literally just holding your camera and looking down at it as if you’re trying to hide the fact that you are taking pictures of yourself on your desk at work. Stop it.

I am sick of the extreme close-up shots of your face taken by your low resolution camera phone.

Quotes Hoarder

Photos that are really just squares with text (in bad font choices, too) meant to “inspire”, “empower”, and bring “good vibes” are annoying as hell. Those quotes are not all that relatable. To me, they are examples of bad design, awful typography, and incorrect grammar and spelling.

quote hoarder

Hi, Haters! šŸ™‚

To quote my friend Sri:

Bitches talkin bout “Hi haters!”… no one fuckin KNOWS you… you’re not that fuckin relevant to HAVE haters…

who the fuck are you waving at?

The same goes to people who think they have “detractors”. Hah! Please.

They think saying hi to their haters makes them look like they don’t give a fuck, but really, it’s the opposite. If they didn’t give a fuck, they wouldn’t say anything. They wouldn’t even acknowledge the haters. That is the true meaning of “no fucks given”.

And because we’re on this, I just found out that there is a HI HATERS Facebook page. WHAT?



“sometimes certain people suck :(“

“You promised you would be there but you never showed up. I can never trust you again!”

You know what? STFU. Your cries for attention and sympathy, and your need to share the drama is sickening. Message that person if you’re pissed at him/her. Either tell us exactly why certain people suck or keep the thought to yourself.


Dear Me…

Dear Jane,

You are exceptionally kind. Do not take negative words to heart. People will be mean. You can get through this trial.

God/Future Jane/your imaginary friend

I don’t get it. Why do you write letters to yourself and post them as status updates? And why are the contents of those letters nothing but praises? Is that your way of humble-bragging? Do you want people to like your status as a way of agreeing to your self-praise?

Game Requests

Just. NO.


You must be lost. This isn’t Twitter.

“About to shoot some hoops!”

(30 minutes later…)

“gonna take a shower”

Even that isn’t Twitter-worthy.

4 thoughts on “quarantasette

    1. Letters to kids and even loved ones I can tolerate, especially when they’re humorous and not sickeningly sweet. I can’t stand girlfriends who write long love letters on their boyfriends’ walls. It’s PDA at a very gross level. I think stuff like that should be PM’d.


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